Tonya Barnes, mother of toddlers 16 months apart, repeats the sentiments of generations of women in describing motherhood as the most exhausting unpaid job she knows of that she wouldn’t trade for the world.

The Wilmington woman’s choice to stay home has paid off in being there to hear the precious first words “mama,” offer that first sippy cup to the curious baby, witness the first stumbling steps, and capture it all on film to share later with her husband, an airline pilot who must often miss those un-scheduled firsts.

Being an at-home mom can be like that: precious yet lonely. Immersed in a child’s world, and cut-off from other adults. For black women, the choice to stay home can be even more isolating because it’s still somewhat uncommon, says Donna Jenkins, a mother of color with two young girls.

Yet a growing number of women of color are looking for support to make that choice for their families, Jenkins says. That is why Mocha Moms exists, and why she joined the New Castle County chapter (formerly the Newark chapter) in 2002.

Mocha Moms is a national support group that connects mothers of color and helps them feel good about their choice to set aside careers or full-time work to focus on parenting. The nonprofit organization, which started as a newsletter 11 years ago, has 100 local chapters today, as well as regional and national conferences.

While several of New Castle County’s 15 core members have left gainful employment altogether, members don’t judge or pressure each other to conform to that ideal. Some choose to, or have been forced to take other paths: one manages a home-based business. Others consult, freelance, or work part-time. Some have switched to night shift or scaled demanding careers down to “mommy track” hours.

Most Mocha Moms are black but the group would never exclude a mother who wants to join but isn’t, says Jenkins, the chapter’s vice president. The whole point is finding camaraderie during an often lonely, exhausting period of parenting, she says.

In addition to bi-monthly Friday meetings in Newark and Brandywine, the group also schedules a monthly mothers’ night out, couples-only events, family outings and a “mom-preneur’s day.”

Tina McNeil-Pitts, a part-time nurse who lives in Wilmington, says she’ll stay involved as she returns to work for the irreplaceable friendships and practical advice.

“There is a lot to learn when you’re a first-time mom,” she says, like where to find fun, free family activities – and how to get organized so you can get out of the door with a preschooler on time to go to them.

Mocha Moms’ mission and activity list may sound a lot like many other mothers’ groups, but its specialized focus adds a welcome dimension to the camaraderie, members say.

At Mocha Moms, you can get the inside story on where the best soul food is and which beauty salons do the best job for a good price. Your toddler will be immersed in play with other children of culture. You’ll meet other mothers who share your heritage.

All of that is important, Jenkins says, because family may not understand the choice to leave a good, stable job to change diapers and practice A, B, C’s.

The chapter’s newest member, Darla Nowell of Brandywine, agrees.

“The purpose of being a mother is to mold, shape and nurture your young one, but as a mother, you need to be nurtured too,” Nowell says at a recent open house play date in Brandywine’s Talley Day Park.

“I have lots of great friends. But no matter how close your friends are are, you want to see yourself in your role models. It’s comforting to see someone else of color, doing the same thing I am.”

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For more information about joining Mocha Moms New Castle County, visit www.mochamoms.org or write mochamomsnewcastlecounty@yahoo.com.