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Ask Aunt Steph is a bi-monthly advice column by Stephanie Baffone, LPCMH, NCC, a licensed, board-certified mental health therapist, freelance writer and beloved aunt to 41 nieces and nephews.
Following in the footsteps of her paternal grandmother, the former neighborhood consigliera (advisor) she is often found holding court with family, friends and clients seeking advice on life, love and loss. “Aunt Steph” lends her talents to answer reader’s questions, too.
Dear Aunt Steph: When my boyfriend was a teenager he dated a girl from his neighborhood. Over the years their families remained close and his parents still adore her. She invited us to her wedding, and when she and her new husband came around to our table at the reception, she opened her arms and said to my boyfriend, “Oh my gosh, this should have been you!” His whole family laughed and said, “We know!” I told my boyfriend her comment was disrespectful to me, not to mention her brand new husband. My boyfriend agreed and was understanding. When his mom found out I was offended, she told me to stop being “so sensitive.” I’m curious what you think. Was the bride’s comment out of line? – Sensitive or Not
Dear Sensitive: It’s not unusual for people to grow up imaging they will marry the boy or girl next door. My guess is the bride spoke out of jest and her comment was a nod to their history. Jest or not, it’s an awkward and inappropriate remark; she should have kept to herself. Your boyfriend’s mom should have been more sensitive to your feelings. A good rule of thumb is – unless asked, reserve commentary for when its solicited. I’m glad your boyfriend was supportive, that’s what really counts.
Dear Aunt Steph: This Casey Anthony situation infuriates me. Not only because it appears she got away with murder, but because every newscast prefaces updates with, “Now this will outrage all the moms out there.” Outrage about this case is not reserved exclusively for women (or men) who parent. The media should be more inclusive in their reporting, right? –Outraged
Dear Outraged: I’ve heard from a number of women expressing your same feeling. While I’m on the side of inclusive, I like to think it is more a matter of the media underscoring the notion that a mother could kill her own child, rather than purposely implying only mothers can appreciate the magnitude of what many think happened. I’d let this one go and not take it too personally.
Looking for a speaker for your next event? Got a question for Aunt Steph? Email her at Stephanie@StephanieBaffone.com or write to: Ask Aunt Steph, PO Box 9972, Newark, DE 19714 or join the conversations on Facebook, Twitterand StephanieBaffone.com.
Ask Aunt Steph is a bi-monthly advice column by Stephanie Baffone, LPCMH, NCC, a licensed, board-certified mental health therapist, freelance writer and beloved aunt to 41 nieces and nephews.
Following in the footsteps of her paternal grandmother, the former neighborhood consigliera (advisor) she is often found holding court with family, friends and clients seeking advice on life, love and loss. “Aunt Steph” lends her talents to answer reader’s questions, too.
Dear Aunt Steph: When my boyfriend was a teenager he dated a girl from his neighborhood. Over the years their families remained close and his parents still adore her. She invited us to her wedding, and when she and her new husband came around to our table at the reception, she opened her arms and said to my boyfriend, “Oh my gosh, this should have been you!” His whole family laughed and said, “We know!” I told my boyfriend her comment was disrespectful to me, not to mention her brand new husband. My boyfriend agreed and was understanding. When his mom found out I was offended, she told me to stop being “so sensitive.” I’m curious what you think. Was the bride’s comment out of line? – Sensitive or Not
Dear Sensitive: It’s not unusual for people to grow up imaging they will marry the boy or girl next door. My guess is the bride spoke out of jest and her comment was a nod to their history. Jest or not, it’s an awkward and inappropriate remark; she should have kept to herself. Your boyfriend’s mom should have been more sensitive to your feelings. A good rule of thumb is – unless asked, reserve commentary for when its solicited. I’m glad your boyfriend was supportive, that’s what really counts.
Dear Aunt Steph: This Casey Anthony situation infuriates me. Not only because it appears she got away with murder, but because every newscast prefaces updates with, “Now this will outrage all the moms out there.” Outrage about this case is not reserved exclusively for women (or men) who parent. The media should be more inclusive in their reporting, right? –Outraged
Dear Outraged: I’ve heard from a number of women expressing your same feeling. While I’m on the side of inclusive, I like to think it is more a matter of the media underscoring the notion that a mother could kill her own child, rather than purposely implying only mothers can appreciate the magnitude of what many think happened. I’d let this one go and not take it too personally.
Looking for a speaker for your next event? Got a question for Aunt Steph? Email her at Stephanie@StephanieBaffone.com or write to: Ask Aunt Steph, PO Box 9972, Newark, DE 19714 or join the conversations on Facebook, Twitterand StephanieBaffone.com.
